living in a strange new world...

ineffective marketing

2011-07-03T09:45:00.000-04:00

(Photo by Hong Soek Kim)

we saw these woman roll by us on their segways with signs advertising something. it caught our eye, but this guy didn't seem to notice. so much for that marketing strategy.

back to nanchong

2011-07-01T17:59:00.000-04:00

i think it was my fourth time to nanchong. we were trying to figure it out. strange, because it feels like i've been there more often.

the first time, i took a very slow train, then a bus back. was it really 8 hours or something? i remember it felt like a very very long distance.

now the high speed train took us there in less time than it took a nine-year old to get bored. amazing.

returning to nanchong felt so familiar. and even though i'd never met wy before, i'd heard so much about her and her work with the sea turtle school and networking with groups in korea and japan, that it seemed like we'd met before.

the warmest welcome and the most delicious food that i'd been waiting for!

crossing continents

2011-06-30T17:32:00.006-04:00

it's always so strange to meet someone across continents. really out of context. it takes me a while to put faces, names, and situations back together. it feels like one of those 3d puzzles that requires some kind of cognitive effort on a different level.

this time it was betty from spi. i didn't know her as well as scott did in harrisonburg, but it was still the strangest thing.

maybe we're really just not meant to be moving so quickly from one realm of this world to another. or maybe we're supposed to be interacting more... and get used to this already.

we had a delicious lunch, though, with some yummy greens, then enjoyed more wandering and sight-seeing... and taking the bus back guided expertly by claire.

the world of three kingdoms

2011-06-29T07:52:00.021-04:00

we began our exploration of the world of three kingdoms with wuhou memorial temple in chengdu.

kate showed us another side of the statues.

the epic stories of the three kingdoms dominated by zhuge liang, liu bei, guan yu, and zhang fei, originated in these lowland regions of sichuan. if you have no idea what i'm talking about, you'd better get your wikipedia version here and can start reading the whole thing online in english here.

great food and a pool

2011-06-29T07:44:00.000-04:00

our first day in chengdu, we got to sample some of the most delicious food in china! yeah for local restaurants.

we also got to go swimming and enjoyed playing around in the pool, which might have been too cold on any other day, but felt great in the heat.

hong soek enjoyed crossing the street. one lane at a time, between the cars. felt a little like taking our lives in our hands. (or feet)

we got to see kate and claire's school and the neighbourhood. fun to be there in person!

a relaxing and re-energizing day with family... and yummy yummy sichuan food.

the time that everything went smoothly

2011-06-28T22:30:00.002-04:00

we had a delicious dinner with lauren and jonathan, then stayed at lauren's for night in d.c. despite our three huge bags plus carry-on luggage, we had no trouble getting up early, dragging our stuff to the subway station, making the first train as it arrived, getting off and transferring effortlessly to the airport shuttle, and arriving with plenty of time to check in for our flight.

no problems with luggage, no delays, nothing uncomfortable whatsoever. although i'd forgotten to order the vegetarian meal in advance, the person next to me was assigned vegetarian by mistake. we switched every meal and both were happy!

the only hitch we had was at security in the beijing airport. already exhausted from the flight, but hopeful for a smooth ride, we followed the instructions and tried to look inconspicuous. unfortunately, an asian man with long hair seemed to catch the guard's eye. hong soek was picked directly from the line and taken aside for a search.

in the end, though, they had to let us through and we made it to chengdu without any other disruptions.

we were met by a joyfully jumping kate, and a cheerful claire with a big grin on her face. jeanette and holly were there too. and was it ever good to see familiar faces!

the summer journey begins

2011-06-26T23:00:00.003-04:00

we madly finished up our packing and cleaning just in time to look composed and ready when our students and friends, m & m, came to pick us up.

we had a wonderful ride to d.c. filled with good conversation, playing with their little boy who had the sweetest smile when he saw his daddy's face in the mirror from the car seat. we drank arabic coffee and talked about our experiences as international students in the u.s.

it was our pleasure to treat them to their first korean meal for lunch. we ordered a bunch of dishes and shared them and were thrilled that our friends enjoyed it. then we had a chance to eat more when we met with our friends' family for dessert.

through our conversations in the car and around the table, i learned that a little knowledge about the "other," whether in terms of religion, politics, or culture, can be harmful when people stop there. yet when people from different backgrounds can approach each other with humility and the expectation of finding common ground, friendships can really form which help both continue their learning.

i look forward to more good meals and conversations with our friends. thanks again, m and m for the ride and your hospitality!

reflections on graduation and next steps

2011-06-25T11:51:00.001-04:00

i haven't written on this blog all semester. i guess i felt like i was doing enough writing with my final action research thesis, which ended up at 160 pages or so.

but now i've graduated and had some time to be free from writing. the urge to write has come back.

graduation was a good experience, filled with relief and a sense of accomplishment. yet i still don't really know what it means to have a master's degree. i also sometimes wonder if that much education is really important. do i feel like a more important person since i've studied? do i know something now? i'm not even sure of that. maybe i'm less sure of more things than when i began studying!

i do know, though, that it's time to get back into the real world of gathering experience and reflecting on my life as a way of learning. too much time in the books makes me lose a sense of awareness of what i learn through conversations and adventures everyday. that learning, i think, is even more valuable than any number of degrees.

so i'll try to write again. the first topic will be about our adventures in china and korea this summer. we'll see what comes after that.

the semester begins...

2011-01-11T07:31:00.003-05:00

yesterday, I returned to the world of classes, curriculum, and syllabi. the new semester has begun.

things i'm fearful of this semester: challenges with my research and doubts whether i can really do it or not, students in my class not reaching their goals, not creating enough space and time for relationships to be nurtured, crazy two week snowstorms like last year!

things i'm looking forward to this semester: a new group of exciting students to get to know at iep, moving forward with my action research project and hopefully presenting on april 16th, hearing hong-soek's new ideas and questions from his classes (and maybe reading some of his books), and connecting more deeply with our communities in harrisonburg.

overall, i'm feeling hopeful. the energy and hope of the beginning of something new. by april, i know it will be routine, but for now, i will enjoy this energy and use it to focus and have fun!~

communities in harrisonburg...

2010-09-11T11:35:00.001-04:00

as the new semester begins, i realize that i have connected with several communities through our time in harrisonburg. last year at this time, i remember the loneliness and sense of disconnect. yesterday, though, through various phone calls, emails, and meeting people around the campus, i finally felt that we are starting to fit in here.

there's the cjp (center for justice and peacebuilding) community which is made up of international and local students from all kinds of backgrounds. despite incredible differences in worldviews, our common value of peace brings us together as a family.

then there's the iep (intensive english program) where i'm teaching. another international community, yet here the commonality is language learning. it's an exciting place of growth, building understanding, and always surprises about what language learning can do to ways of thinking and being... not just on the side of the students!

at the master's in ed, the community is a little different. while there are a few international students, most of the participants are teachers in the area and have full time jobs and families. it's not as important for them to meet together as a community, but whenever we're in class together or meet at the grocery store, there's always a feeling of connection.

another group, which somewhat overlaps, is "the table" - our intentional faith community. it feels different in that we're all there for a specific purpose: to nurture and grow together in our faith through worship and fellowship. it's definitely an energy-giving group for me.

yesterday i also connected with several people that don't necessarily fit into certain groups, but have become a part of our community and life in harrisonburg. nice people who have invited us into their lives and as a result, i have grown more in my understanding of humanity and friendship.

who would have thought a year ago?

home from vacation and the real world begins again...

2010-08-23T20:56:00.003-04:00

the last few days have been great to catch up, remember how to rest at home, and do nothing. i'm even a little bored, but i could do with a few more days of this. oh well.

tomorrow teaching begins at iep. new students, new semester, new courses, exciting energy and fun stuff! this is one of my favourite times of year.... i suppose i have many of those though.

pictures of our holidays will come. i've done lots of writing, it's just in my notebook instead of here....

ah the end of summer.

and it finally rains...

2010-07-12T22:07:00.003-04:00

i saw deer across the way on my run this morning. it seems they were looking for something green to eat. the truck chased them away, but they weren't bothered by my pace at all. i watched them until the bounded off into the woods.

the rain began after my run and kept on all afternoon, stopping only after dinner in time for the sun to come out for a finale of a sunset. we brought ice cream up to the top step to watch the clouds.

after all that, the grass has dared to start turning green again after its weeks of brown. maybe hs will get to mow the lawn eventually?

... and with today's showers, now maybe that one tomatoe will ripen. i have so many plans for it, but can't decide. the other tomatoes will just have to catch up.

birds!

2010-07-06T18:59:00.006-04:00

in the coolness of the this morning out on the deck, with the sun still behind the hill and a blanket wrapped around my legs, i heard the smallest little cheaping coming from... somewhere. i let it pass. birds were everywhere. i went back to my writing.

then i heard it again. a flitter and the tip of a wing fleeting behind the grapevine trellis beside me. the chirps got louder as the mother came nearer the nest.

i followed the sound. standing up, i could see, peeking between the boards, the nest! two tiny beaks open wide, sending out the chirps, poked their tips above the edge of the dark and safe spot.
baby birds! in our grapevine! can you see them?

camping on the fourth of july

2010-07-05T22:20:00.004-04:00

(photo by hong soek kim)

our impromptu camping trip turned out to be just what we needed... with lots of watermelon, shady trees, bike rides, and s'mores. plus i finished my book. the fun reading book. the one i've been fun reading for the last several months because i had no time for fun reading. it was the perfect little holiday!

a sunset to remember

2010-06-28T22:09:00.002-04:00

the view from our house tonight. this is one to remember.

i fell asleep in class today

2010-06-24T23:14:00.004-04:00

i did, really. and so did the rest of my classmates. we even brought our pillows.

actually, it was an assignment. learn how to power nap and practice.

not bad for graduate studies, i think. i'm learning more and more that all education should be like kindergarten.

an afternoon in the museum

2010-06-22T18:07:00.005-04:00

photo courtesy of richard woelk

i spent the afternoon on saturday at the native american museum. again. that's the second saturday in a row, but somehow not yet bored. i still haven't seen it all and the building both inside and out is so inviting, it feels like a retreat to peruse the displays. meditative, really. i learned this time about the chesepeake bay area and who lived here before the europeans came. nanticoke, piscataway, and powhatan nations all speak algonquian languages and were in the eastern virginia area. i also learned about many who left to ohio, joined together with tecumseh who appealed to the british in canada to negotiate a piece of land for native nations to share, and then lost the war of 1812 and stayed in ontario. i learned of the struggle in virginia and area even now for their voices in communities, goverment, and society. it's the first time i've heard that voice. i need to listen hard.

pendle hill welcomes...

2010-05-28T21:43:00.002-04:00

again it comes to community. how are the two of us both drawn into and pushed away from the challenge and blessing of living together with others?

pendle hill invites with ancient trees, home-grown food, and even more with the spirit. i feel it as soon as we arrive. something i'm yearning for, the way i'm made.

in the meetings, my heart is so restless it reverberates around the room. i know the others hear it too.

an afternoon in the trees

2010-05-15T23:19:00.004-04:00

a long overdue hike in the park happened. finally. two hours stretched into a bit more as we stopped to watch the falls, the dogs playing in the water with their hikers, then wandered back up. next time, bring two water bottles.

regional englishes

2010-03-26T23:29:00.002-04:00

something i came across when talking about 'regional englishes' in class... she speaks 21 englishes?

homework?

2010-03-24T15:44:00.001-04:00

is there such a thing as homework saturation? that i just can't fit any more in my brain? or that i just really need to play for a while. maybe that's a good reason to go to school as a kid. play seems to come easier at that age. and i think there's a recipe here: one part homework + one part play = some sort of sanity. any proportion other than that seems to result in silliness.

spiders moving in

2010-03-23T22:21:00.001-04:00

our apartment is home to many creatures and they move in and out with the seasons. right now it's spiders, cockroaches come later in the season, and crickets in the fall just in time to wake us up in the early morning before class.

ah community living.

washrooms are restrooms

2010-03-23T21:13:00.002-04:00

it happened again. my crazy canadian english was misunderstood. i know that language is different. we're learning about worldviews in theory class and value conflicts. language is a big part of this and can cause amazing amounts of miscommunication and conflict.

but really, when i say 'washroom,' is it that hard to understand?

wanna buy an enemy?

2010-03-22T22:37:00.005-04:00

finally saw the production of i'd like to buy an enemy. it only took four chances, so my expectations were high. maybe too high, but i was impressed with the commitment to take in the audience feedback, make changes, and keep improving the show.

i didn't share my thoughts about feeling like an outsider while watching with all of the u.s. insider stuff. i suppose it's just like watching cable from canada.

first day of spring break...

2010-03-08T21:58:00.002-05:00

wow, first day of spring break and already i've done everything i've wanted to do...

hmm. now what?

get bored?

i'm trying to remember what that's like...

feelin' groovy

2010-02-21T22:18:00.001-05:00

this weekend's short trip to d.c. felt like a weeklong holiday. was i that tired? or just that we got to stay in a nice hotel? a restful weekend, though, just what i needed... and it was less than 24 hours.

one last fun night with ji-young before she heads back to korea, saying goodbye while meeting lauren for yummy brunch made the goodbyes easier.

long and leisurely, though, the tv and comfy bed, wandering, brunching, and sleeping in past 7:30 with no promises to keep...

almost a champion

2010-02-10T21:11:00.003-05:00

my first table tennis tournament. in singles, undefeated defeat. i think it's a record. in mixed doubles, we won one and lost one. that put us in second place, and just about the champions. by that time, they'd given away all the t-shirts. we still got the keychain buttons, though.

i'm so proud.

snow day 2010... one of them

2010-02-10T13:56:00.001-05:00

and they say that it'll snow again on monday... not sure where it's all going to go, but fun times anyway...

tim hortons with instructions

2010-02-06T22:28:00.005-05:00

photograph of a tim hortons at broadway & 95th street by joe schumacher on flickr

so tim's has come to new york. i think it's hilarious there's an explanation on the sign...

new york in the movies

2010-02-05T21:25:00.006-05:00

leaving harrisonburg - we're in a disaster movie trying to outrun the monster snow storm, hearing the warnings on the radio, watching people moving north trying to get out of the storm's path...

at the restauarant beneath the empire state building... now it's a sit com. everyone out for drinks after work in ties and skirts, eating real ny cheesecake, the karate club meeting in the basement, making eye contact and the buff man bows...

at the top of the empire state building - this time a romantic comedy. running around the corner on the 86th floor observatory, out of the wind, in view of the river, to sneak a kiss...

it feels like i've been here before, although i know it's only been the movies.

contra dancing on a saturday night...

2010-01-17T20:21:00.002-05:00

last weekend we tried something new... contra dancing. it's a kind of folk dancing, reminding me of square dances we did in middle school. a little difficult, but not so much that a severely movement-challenged person as myself couldn't keep up.

it felt a little strange to be dancing with strangers. i've met a couple of people who were there in the last week outside of the dance hall, though, and it feels different. we have a connection.

i think we'll go again...

it all depends on how you look at it...

2010-01-08T21:00:00.001-05:00

fortunately we made it to d.c. before the snow

unfortunately they cancelled all the flights anyway

fortunately we had lots of fun at lauren's place playing in the snow

unfortunately they cancelled our flight again

fortunately we could get out on the next one

unfortunately no public transportation was running

fortunately i'm from saskatchewan and i can drive in snow

unfortunately they didn't clear the parking spots

fortunately we could run the car into a snowbank and leave it there till the snow melted

unfortunately we still had super long line-ups and unexpected luggage fees

fortunately we made it to saskatoon and had an absolutely wonderful holiday with family and friends which made everything worthwhile!!

unfortunately there was a terror scare and we couldn't take all the wonderful gifts from family and friends because of new carry-on luggage regulations

fortunately we got it all into checked luggage and they didn't charge us extra

unfortunately our flight was cancelled again

fortunately we got another one around through ottawa

unfortunately our luggage was missing when we got to d.c.

fortunately we found it an hour later and got the bus to our car

unfortunately our car window had been broken and we had to call insurance and police before leaving

fortunately we taped it up, ate some yummy korean food and got on the road

unfortunately it started snowing again while we drove

fortunately we made it home safely and went straight to bed...

it all depends on how you look at it...

and the snow is falling

2009-12-19T15:21:00.003-05:00

so it's a little bit of snow. they make it sound like a natural disaster. i suppose it is a record snowfall for this area. but i've seen this much snow many times in my life... and still had to go to school on those days.

nice to have a 'forced' rest day, though. a little transition between the busy-ness of the semester and expected rest-full-ness of the holidays in canada... if we get there. surely at some point they'll have flights going again?

tough guise

2009-10-25T23:28:00.011-04:00

while a bit dated with statistics (1999), i think the general idea is still around. in thinking of peacebuilding and education, perhaps conversations on gender need this perspective too. i wonder how this compares to other cultures and countries. and how this gender view portrayed in u.s. media is perpetuated in settings outside the u.s. (see more videos here)

born into brothels

2009-10-25T23:28:00.010-04:00

'born into brothels' describes the encounter of children and cameras. it's been done since, and i've heard of it before, but this documentary captures the innateness of human creativity. we need art, in some way shape or form, and we create. something in all us needs to express. to be heard.

pray the devil back to hell

2009-10-24T23:28:00.000-04:00

i first saw leymah gbowee on the colbert report and was impressed by her keeping stephen colbert in his place during an interview. i think she's probably one of the few people who actually spoke her piece fully without colbert interrupting. she also managed to get him to say "i'm not going to argue with that."

only found out later that she is my 'seon-bae' by a few years. she graduated from cjp with a master's in 2007 and she visited emu again at the showing of the documentary about the peacebuilding work she lead with women in liberia.

she is certainly a leader; i could see that when she spoke, people listened. i felt that she was speaking to each one of us in the auditorium on a personal level.

the documentary was moving (you can watch parts of it here or listen to an npr report here) and inspiring. yet she reminded her listeners last night, the work of peacebuilding is never finished.

"pray the devil back to hell chronicles the remarkable story of the courageous liberian women who came together to end a bloody civil war and bring peace to their shattered country.

thousands of women — ordinary mothers, grandmothers, aunts and daughters, both christian and muslim — came together to pray for peace and then staged a silent protest outside of the presidential palace. armed only with white t-shirts and the courage of their convictions, they demanded a resolution to the country’s civil war. their actions were a critical element in bringing about a agreement during the stalled peace talks.

a story of sacrifice, unity and transcendence, pray the devil back to hell honors the strength and perseverance of the women of liberia. inspiring, uplifting, and most of all motivating, it is a compelling testimony of how grassroots activism can alter the history of nations." ~ from the website

1840 pictures of me

2009-10-20T22:16:00.003-04:00

i just uploaded the new picasa program... it recognizes my face! yes, it searched my computer and found 1840 pictures of me.

then it started recognizing my friends and family. if you want to know how many times you're in my computer, send me a note. and if you're not in there, you'd better send a picture too.

running after two weeks away

2009-10-11T21:48:00.002-04:00

the last time i stopped running was on our summer holiday. the vacation consisted of a few long walks, and perhaps something you might call work, if joyfully picking tomatoes, peppers, and beans and then eating them could be considered that. yet I could really call nothing we did there exercise.

when i got back into it, i really ran. for a while. two weeks ago it stopped again. amazing how much i can lose in such a short time!

today was the first day back again and i'm trying to recall how it felt last time. to find the motivation to get through the first weeks back into routine.

i'll be a little sore tomorrow i think.

women of lockerbie

2009-10-10T21:52:00.001-04:00

tonight we went to see emu theatre doing a play called "women of lockerbie" by deborah brevoort. the drama tells the story of pan am 103 which exploded over lockerbie, scotland on december 21, 1988, killing all 259 people on board and 11 people on the ground.

despite the trauma that people of the village experienced, a group of women decided in a gesture of healing, to wash the clothes that had scattered from the crash before returning them to their families.

themes of grief and healing weave through the story, with questions of god and justice, fate and suffering. terrorist language of hate and fear give way to re-covering humanity.

(photo from emu website)

going to korea from philly

2009-10-07T17:15:00.003-04:00

is this philadelphia? is this seoul? i was there and didn't even know!

shakespeare!!!

2009-10-07T17:10:00.001-04:00

a special treat at the blackfriars playhouse in staunton, va.

a friend and i drove the twenty minutes south, parked, and walked around to look at the cute downtown streets.

we laughed our heads off watching the american shakespeare center players present 'the merry wives of windsor.' (we couldn't take pictures in the theatre, so i found these on google)

the building itself was incredible, just like the real blackfriars. not that i've ever seen it. but from what i've been told.

i'll be going back tonight for another show...

our six month anniversary

2009-09-29T21:56:00.006-04:00

we brought the camera on our big sixth-month anniversary dinner to kyoto for sushi and yummy korean fried rice. a beautiful dining room, amazing food, us dressed in our finest, and only three photos...

chuseok on the windowsills

2009-09-27T22:00:00.003-04:00

autumn arrives with pumpkins, cozy candles, and lanterns to celebrate korean chuseok this week. happy chuseok!

about the farmer's market

2009-09-26T22:01:00.001-04:00

one of my favourite places to go! i love the smell, the sounds, the sights, the tastes, the feel of the place... colours and music and smiles and laughter and really really good food. what more could i ask?

getting my ssn

2009-09-25T20:54:00.004-04:00

i now have a social security number and am part of the biggest system in the world. how does that feel?

and now from jimmy carter...

2009-09-25T20:53:00.010-04:00

we went to james madison university campus with the crowd to hear jimmy carter speak. he talked about israel and palestine and his vision for peace. sounds like a nice vision; i wonder about the steps to get there.

we listened, enjoyed the shenandoah valley children's choir, then went for ice cream and ate it from the back of the car.

ice cream like i've never tasted before!

2009-09-21T22:05:00.000-04:00

we went for kline's again tonight. this time with six of us and a quart of all three flavours! handmade fresh every morning, and a different flavour each week (changing on wednesdays). check out the listings on wolfe street and you'll see what we ate today...

line ups wind around the parking lot even on chilly days. always have to count on a little wait. always have to count on meeting someone you know.

this locally owned shop started in downtown harrisonburg in 1964 did so well they now have four locations around the valley.

just make sure you get the cone, not the cup. they always top up the cones more.

playing piano

2009-09-20T19:49:00.001-04:00

i played again today. i can't remember when i played last, but it's been a while. i felt the stuckness flow free and two hours cascaded past with the rush. emotions filled my hands and body. tears came, song came, and harmonies and rhythms came too. it felt good.

learning to fly...

2009-09-19T22:09:00.005-04:00

i learned to fly today. my new friends helped me. we shared the weight of each other, and all had a chance. some of us only wanted to go part way up, but after experiencing the joy of soaring through the trees under a sun-sparkled afternoon sky with the silent 'whoosh' of the wind in the leaves and through our ears, went up again and all the way to the top.

leaning back into harness, i let go of the rope and throw my arms back. my heart fills with joy and renewal, and a smile stretches across my face in glorious delight. reaching down through the filtered sunlight in the branches, heaven brushes my cheek. i hold a piece in my hand as i slow to gently land.

energy from familiar faces

2009-09-09T21:58:00.002-04:00

we're starting to recognize familiar faces and even meet people we know. it's not impossible anymore to hear 'hi cheryl! hi scott!' on the street when we're out and about. we know a few faces at the farmer's market, when playing volleyball or soccer, at the library, walking on our street in the evening, they're everywhere!

i still miss good friends, though. many potential friends now, but not yet. waiting takes patience.

tonight we dropped in at a discussion at "common grounds," the coffee shop on campus. five familiar faces all greeted us with warm smiles and words. not much, but each smile provided a taste of the energy i crave from friendships and community.

i suppose it's a start.

reflection from class

2009-09-05T20:37:00.002-04:00

i am from the creek and coulees, skates and sticks on outdoor ice rinks, and smells of dead leaves under melted spring snow.

iam from kelcha and sausage, roll kuchen and watermelon, crab apples, and saskatoon berries.

i am from "hwell," "nay-yo," and "we'll see."

i am from refugees fleeing for their lives and immigrants choosing to leave rather than fight, farmers, leaders, and mcc quilt makers.

iam from peace-lovers with held in feelings, secret whispering, and loud voices about injustice (of any perceived kind).

a shenandoah welcome

2009-09-02T11:00:00.003-04:00

"returning students, faculty and staff gave new members of the emu community a 'shenandoah welcome' as they wended their way through a human 'tunnel' - with Appalachian bluegrass music playing - to the Campus Center plaza for ice cream and fellowship before heading off to classes." ~ from emu website, photo by jon styer

the experience of walking through clapping hands, smiles, and even a few familiar faces...
and ice cream twice in one day!

desdemona and me

2009-08-24T23:26:00.001-04:00

we're just getting to know each other again after so long. abs, fuel pressure, fuel pump, power steering, accessory belt, all these things about her i need to learn. i want to take care of her well so she's with us for a long time. for practical purposes, but because she's desdemona too. we go back a long way.

he says i love her more than him.

city mice country mice

2009-08-22T23:14:00.002-04:00

jubilee partners garden filled with bean plants, peppers overloaded, tomotoes red and full, and so many other vegetables and fruits my eyes can't tell them apart. We begin picking, feeling like the city mice out to visit the country mice... how do we know if the peppers ripe yet?

if nothing else, we'll be there at some point to work in the garden again. it feels awkward and unfamiliar yet rooted somewhere deep in my being that i have to work in the land.

and we picked all of these peppers.

camping in georgia

2009-08-20T23:10:00.004-04:00

camping in georgia - drive north 30 minutes to an almost empty campground, cement overgrown with kudza (pronounced kudzoo) - the lakeside one is better with green in place, peaceful water lapping

a southern experience

2009-08-20T23:09:00.006-04:00

the trees change on the drive south to atlanta. we're entering a different culture, a different space. i don't recognize the growth all over the trees. they say the japanese plant was introduced to keep the banks from eroding, but it took over. there's a line we crossed on the highway. south of it came kudzu and an entirely new cultural experience.

driving habits changed.

language changed. we went to a bbq restaurant and i couldn't understand the server listing the drink items. i asked several times for her to repeat one, then finally gave up and went with a coke.

food changed. there were few vegetarian options on the menu, although a few meatless cheesy things and lots of green beans. the portions overwhelmed us... three dishes for four people and we were stuffed! come to think of it, it was probably the refills on one litre-sized cups of pop. or is it soda?

mega veggies

2009-08-17T23:27:00.005-04:00

super cucumber....

... and super zucchini.

what can we possibly do with these? super cucumber kimchi with perhaps a bit too much shrimp paste, and sauteed-tomato-onion-mushroom-pepper-garlic-cheesy-cheese zucchini boats!

(no picture because we ate it all too fast!)

making kimchi... harrisonburg-style

2009-08-10T22:02:00.006-04:00

we did it! we made kimchi!

our fridge now smells like kimchi. oh the goodness!

we didn't have the right ingredients, but we used a combination of farmer's market specials, and extremely opposite imported specials from the locally-owned asian market.

we gorged ourselves tonight on rice made with our discount china-made rice cooker, soybean soup, and fresh summer kimchi. ah, it just doesn't get better than this!

afraid of muscle

2009-08-10T21:34:00.004-04:00

at the gym today, hong-soek meets his friends from soccer on the weekend. now we're making friends all over the place.

i'd seen them often at the gym before, and perhaps smiled and said hi once or twice, but i'd never introduced myself. one reason is these guys are huge! their arms are the size of my thighs. scary stuff.

so hong-soek decides to talk since they'd been together on the soccer field. i bravely approach, thinking i'd be okay since he's there.

as he introduces me, though, he says that i'd never talked to them since i was afraid of guys with big muscle.

as my face turns red, we all have a good laugh.

i don't think i'll be afraid again. and if i am, now i know the best way is to face my fear... and make friends.

our new apartment

2009-08-09T21:45:00.010-04:00

1328 shands trail. it's starting to feel like home. i figure i need to describe a little more what our place looks like.

the colours i like. bright and warm, yellows and greens with little flecks of blue in the carpet. it's a basement, but the windows open up wide to let in the afternoon sun.

the kitchen has lots of cupboard space, and even a dishwasher... oo!

our landlords are wonderful people and have a beautiful garden in the back and even invited us to pick their tomatoes. delicious!

surrounded by trees, the air feels cool, as does the basement apartment. no air conditioning, but none really needed. they say it's warmer in the winter too, half-insulated by the earth.

our bedroom is half bedroom and half office space. we drew the layout on this furniture website, moved the furniture around about ten times, then came up with a nice design.

all we need now are some wooden wine boxes for some funky book shelves. would you believe people line up at 5am in this city to get them? we'll wait for the right moment and make do with cardboard until then.

next is some decorating, putting up some posters and pictures, and it really is starting to feel like home.

the neighbours had a yard sale

2009-08-08T09:40:00.002-04:00

we woke up at 6:30 on saturday morning bright and early, to meet our neighbours.

several families were having a yard sale on lincolnshire, which is basically our street since shands trail really only has a couple of houses.

it was fun, we walked up and the down the street several times and tried to buy at least something little from each place. relationship building more than junk collecting, i guess.

we got a nice camping stove for cheap and some baskets for the bathroom.

we got to meet our next-door neighbours too, which is nice. until now we'd only pretended not to see each other as they drove up while we were having a picnic on the deck.

nice neighbourhood. nice people.

settling in...

2009-08-04T22:46:00.003-04:00

so we're settling in now. figuring out where to put stuff, how things should go. in some ways it feels we'll be here such a short time, why bother. but it's worth bothering, i know. even if it's only a few months, it feels more like home.

the cicadas continue their buzzing. birds finished around 9pm, i think. they all finish about the same time.

i try to figure out who i am in this space and wait. anticipating the home that will be, the person i i will become, the silence of the early morning.

a leg on each side

2009-07-30T22:07:00.004-04:00

we're moving again, this time to a place we'll be for the rest of our time in harrisonburg. may be a few days without email....

half of our stuff is here, half in the other place. i feel like i'm straddling several blocks.

note to self: don't plan to move the same day three papers are due.

advice from my sisters

2009-07-21T10:02:00.000-04:00

some words of wisdom from my sisters:

your forties is the age of wisdom. finally you grow into your knowledge and questions. ambiguity no longer frightens.

your thirties is the age of womanhood. embracing yourself in all your beauty. living in joy and pain, gathering energy from each.

your twenties is the age of invincibility. thinking you know everything. thinking you'll live forever. life lies open in empty clean pages.

i open my hands to receive their words silently. none to return. i know nothing.

drowning in busy... and needing space

2009-07-20T21:55:00.006-04:00

busy-ness begins. but then i'm always busy. i'm known for that, apparently.

yet i don't want to be. i want to be free, 'yeo-yoo-rop-gae' - filled with space. i always think that, but then i always get sucked up in class, assignments, papers, extra projects, organization, procrastination, and everything else.

space is a choice, though. i must choose repeatedly to put some channeling walls along the flood of stuff going on. without those sides, it's not a river, just a spread muggy mush of swamp.

i want my life to be a river. not a swamp.

tomorrow begins again. maybe i will be filled with space tomorrow. i will choose.

please listen

2009-07-13T20:44:00.004-04:00

i stepped outside during the break today.

the sun shone warm and cozy after the over-air-conditioned classroom. the purple flowers wilted under its heat, but the few blossoms in the shade shone back in their purple brilliance.

i slipped my sandals off to feel the grass beneath my feet. i breathed deeply the smells of the trees and grass cuttings, the humidity on the wind.

my mind clearing, i felt it again. the tightness in my chest, the overwhelming sadness that comes when i'm not busy.

'just let me be here!' the sore reddish wound told me. 'let me feel! i'm here and if you ignore me, you'll only hurt more. sit with me and listen for a while. i need you to listen and then i'll make begin to make space for others again. please listen.'

i gave it a few minutes. then when back to class.

i can only listen so much.

busier is easier.

the good news is...

2009-07-05T13:40:00.000-04:00

the good news is... we made it home.

good news bad news

2009-07-02T19:45:00.001-04:00

the good news is, it wasn't the $600 converter.
the bad news is, they didn't know what's causing the problem.
the good news is the technician had time to test drive it again.
the bad news is the fuel pump quit on him.

the good news is we know what the problem is.
the bad news is it cost over $1000 to fix it.
the good news is they had the part and could do it today.
the bad news is it will take 3 hours.

the good news is they said they'd drive us to a coffee shop with wireless.
the bad news is we don't have a cell phone to call when they're done.
the good news is we can use a pay phone.
the bad news is we can't find one.

the good news is we can use the internet.
the bad news is my computer battery's dead.
the good news is the seat we're at has lots of plug-ins.
the bad news is i forgot my power cord in the car.

the good news is there's a chinese restaurant next door and they let us use the phone.
the bad news is it's after 3pm and they're not finished yet.
the good news is we can eat good chinese food.
the bad news is we're going to get to indiana at 4am...

car troubles and conversion for desdemona

2009-07-01T19:39:00.001-04:00

our trip takes longer than we thought as desdemona begins losing power after a long drive. the engine runs, but the acceleration just gives out. it starts again and goes after shutting it off and a short break. the first day we kept going, the second day we stopped at a garage. close to closing time, they couldn't find anything wrong... and didn't persevere long, but charged us $30 anyway.

today it got worse so we stopped again. kind kyle at the shop took it for a drive, felt the loss of power for himself, and then made the technician do it too. the bad news is, they think it's a $600 part. the good news is they can check. the bad news is they can check tomorrow.

we find a regional park nearby and camp for the night with dreams of desdemona's restoration tomorrow and a problem-free journey home. in time for class?

a long road trip begins

2009-06-29T13:29:00.002-04:00

packing today to leave for virginia tomorrow. from saskatchewan to virginia in 5 days? perhaps. more or less. i'm looking forward to time in the car. it's good for processing, reading, doing the 'please complete before the class begins' assignments and just being.

how much can desdemona hold?

so now on to happy things?

2009-06-24T11:43:00.000-04:00

my emotions still overwhelm. like swimming underwater with my eyes closed and getting pushed upside-down and over again by the current in circles, swirling. one moment feels good, with a strange pulling on my heart. memories continue to come in flashes of joy, laughter, twinges of something before melting into the twirling mix.

ritual felt good. i trusted it would do something and maybe it has. but ritual only takes me so far, and that's not very far at all. only as far as standing at her graveside, the last one in an empty green field under the windy blue sky and sun, everyone else already turned, driven away in cars, gone to "deal" and move on.

is that it? so quickly the healing sense of togetherness dissipates, as if the brief few days is all it should take to recover from the loss of a life-shaping friendship. but who am i without her after 20 years of our woven lives? a strand frayed off and a colour missing. the fabric no longer whole.

so now i must move on to happy things. celebrations and marriages and relationships tangible and here. pretending that i'm swimming upright, only the day after. it's expected. i expect it. yet the tumbling continues and likely will for a while. this is not one of those things from which to just move on. i'll celebrate, but with more nuanced colours. i ask myself to please understand.

a dear friend returns home

2009-06-20T00:22:00.002-04:00

in english we talk about "passing away." korean expressions use the idea of "returning home." i think i like that better. it gives a sense of completeness, fullness, and coming full circle. feelings of safety, security, and warm belonging. thoughts of rest, of letting go, and restoration.

i think of my dear friend kelli returning home. i don't want her to, and i resist the idea. but she's gone and my resistance will not help her or anyone else. i grieve losing her in this life and at the same time have a strong sense of strange closeness. distance no longer separates us. language and limits to communication no longer force us to work for understanding. the disconnect between her and i has dissolved. she knows now, as one day i will know.

as she returns home, i weep. but i know she has become a part of the cloud of witnesses that surround us and not even death will end our friendship.

last day of classes

2009-06-12T12:42:00.002-04:00

the last day of classes as arrived, only a short time after we started. only now am i starting to get something out of this class and get to know the people in it. and already it's over. the nature of an intensive summer course. but the coursework continues...

and tonight we see katie! we're getting ride to d.c., some public transportation to baltimore area, then more public transportation in baltimore and new york tomorrow before finally getting on the plane to calgary. it's an adventure. i wonder if this two mini-trips to manhattan will count? i can visualize the map in my head... i think it should count.

sitting around the table

2009-06-07T20:55:00.005-04:00

for the second week in a row, hong-soek and i went to church on the hill. this 'emerging mennonite congregation' that calls themselves 'the table' and meets in the discipleship center behind the emu seminary. the meeting place itself pulls people into a spirit of connection with surrounds and the creator, with views of forest trees, the green-grassed slope, blue ridge mountains settled on the other side of harrisonburg in the valley each framed by one of the windows around the circular building.

the worship style put me at ease immediately. artistic, yet unpretensive, well-prepared and carefully thought-out, yet organic and informal. i love the music which fills the tiny space with energy and the reflection times to walk around, talk with others, play with string, sit in the grass outside, or whatever i need for those 10 minutes to reflect on the integration of worship and my life.

the best part, though, has to be the meal following the service. garden-grown vegetables, homemade bread and spreads, fresh brownies, homemade iced tea... all shared over good conversation sprouting from the worship and relationships together.

this just might be a table that i'd like to come to for a while.

why they have so many shenandoah valley songs

2009-06-02T23:09:00.001-04:00

it's raining again as i ready for sleep. in the day it was hot and sunny and by night the thunderclouds build up in bubbling swirls, the lightening begins, and the raindrops fall heavily on the roof, splashing and bubbling. i like this pattern of showers and sun. something to do with this valley, a little peace of paradise. it's exciting. it even makes me enjoy the rain.

stories of korea

2009-05-29T16:52:00.001-04:00

the wealth of experience in the room tonight overwhelmed me a bit. hong-soek and i both commented to each other afterwards how honoured we felt that she invited us too.

i'd wondered at her purposes in organizing it at first, and honestly, might have even been a bit skeptical at her passion. tonight, though, i could see her repeated emails as a gift of networking, literally pulling people together to come into dialogue. surprising consequences.

perhaps we felt another wall that needed the body of christ to break down. the different generations of experience, which often seems a larger distance than any ocean, all require respect and all have something to offer.

whatever the case, i enjoyd the 'old korea' stories and how long it used to take to get from taegu to seoul, and all about the mennonite leaders back in the day.

where do you work?

2009-05-28T16:49:00.000-04:00

a peacebuilder complained repeatedly of conflict at home. when asked why she didn't apply all the things she'd been doing with other groups to work at conflict transformation, she replied:

"oh, i don't bring my work home with me!"

second month anniversary

2009-05-28T10:58:00.001-04:00

we went to the little grill again for our anniversary. two months and we already have habits! more because it's a good restaurant, though, within both our budget and walking distance.

it was breakfast night this time. not all-you-can-eat, much to hong-soek's disappointment, but still plenty of food. we ordered a greek omelette and blue monkey pancakes - a fancy way of saying blueberries and bananas.

i also got my first taste of "grits." i'm probably the only person they have in there asking instructions on how to eat it (them?). i heard a salty version and a sweet. we tried both. not bad at all.

tennessee adventures

2009-05-24T21:53:00.001-04:00

"knoxville," the sign read. i guessed we'd been in the city limits for a while, but only now did i see the sign which made it official. we'd arrived.

after rushing out of our friday afternoon classes, and driving a long seven hours with only two short stops along the appalachian mountains and across i-40, we'd finally reached our destination for the weekend just after 11pm.

the east tennessee peacebuilding institute had invited our group of ten "peacebuilders" participating in the summer peacebuilding institute to fellowship and sharing about peace with members of their community. we didn't know what to expect, but signed up for the adventure.

bleary eyed and seat-sore, we entered the church for refreshments and meeting our host families. a bearded man dressed in simple summer clothes quietly introduced himself as "chuck." he noted that he lived out of town, "out in the boonies" so we had a ways to go. we got in the car and sat in silence for a few miles.

gradually, conversation sprouted and we learned about the history of oak ridge, a city built from scratch in the 1940s for the purposes of nuclear technology research and development. chuck had come 35 years earlier as microbiologist and was now a busy, retired, home-remodelling, volunteering, grandfather.

throughout the weekend, our little conversations and questions in between scheduled events, starting building thin, mysterious threads of connection, establishing the fact that we were all nice people and pleasant. strangely enough, it took a conflict to bring us across the shell of politeness and small talk.

emotions arose amidst baggage of gathered wounds and memories at the japanese "friendship bell." the bell remembered the tragic connection between oak ridge and hiroshima, development and deployment, and rang out clearly, speaking the topics we'd chosen to avoid. the emotions i carried from my friends in hiroshima who survived the bomb, came out in my words in oak ridge. unintentionally, i began to push the pleasant and nice woman who hosted us into a defensive position and she pushed back.

the heated conversation ended awkwardly as we returned to their home. pretending it never happened, we both politely and nicely went to rest.

but i could not rest. my mind would not, and neither would my heart. i didn't know these people, i could easily let it go, leave our relationship at that, and move on. why did it bother me? the nagging of integrity reminding me of our group's label of "peacebuilders" challenged me to think carefully about even this little conflict. this may be just the opportunity to practice miroslav voth's "will to embrace" and john paul lederach's "turning." i will not end nuclear armement. i will not change the world. i will not even change her. but i will change.

so i faced the shadow within me. the shadow of self-righteousness and judgment i so desperately wanted to hide. i invited it to "have tea with me" and over tea it said, "talk to her." i knew i had to obey.

our next conversation felt even more awkward. i don't remember what i said. content probably played a minor role. gradually, though, i felt myself turn. my emotions responded in kind and i felt the desire to connect with this woman towards whom i had been so defensive. soon we were really talking.

by the time we said goodbye on monday, we had shared several good conversations with out host family. we still don't really know each other, but i understand a little more. i listend to their stories of family, relationship, experience, situations, their context. it all makes sense in context. i see their perspectives and relationships influenced by the tapestry of their lives. my initiative in bringing up the awkwardness again in order to find "common ground" created space for listening. for me and for her.

i feel a connection now in a new way. our shared words and feelings have spun a web between us. the threads will not so easily let go now.

thinking of our weekend in tennessee, i feel a sense of humility. called a "peacebuilder" i know i don't live up to the name. my building is no more spectacular than anyone else's. i can only learn as i go. unknown and possibly dangerous, still it's an adventure to pursue.

why aren't you there?

2009-05-22T00:34:00.003-04:00

the class ends all too soon. i've learned much from professor assefa, the readings, and more from the participants in their diverse experiences and knowledge. by the end of the week, it finally felt we connected on a deeper level than simple question and answer, but now it's over.

in group projects i learned in detail about the serbia-croatia-bosnia conflict from a serbian pyschotherapist working with war veterans from all sides. trying to give both perspectives, i appreciated his recognition of his own bias and honest evaluation of all sides involved as well as what might be needed for reconciliation.

at the break we talked of my last name and family history. he points out the violent history of canada towards the first nations people and i agree that work for reconciliation must be done in my hometown too.

"so why aren't you there?" he asks.

i have no good answer.

new korea connections

2009-05-15T00:23:00.000-04:00

a woman from korea attends my class. she's from the kanghwa island area, and has been heavily involved in politics. she didn't know there were mennonites in korea and met emu through catholic connections.

focused on her life's last mission, reconciliation between north and south in her hometown near the 'neutral zone.'

her focus and conviction, and courage to come across the world to find ways of peace, inspire me. we will talk more.

tea wars

2009-05-14T00:17:00.000-04:00

spi classes have begun. when asked if i'd be the classroom assistant for our "forgiveness and reconciliation" class, i naively said yes. it couldn't be that hard. or so i thought.

keeping the coffee and tea stocked for our class of heavy drinkers proved to be no simple task. especially for the british woman who insisted only on "regular" tea and just about led a demonstration in front of the spi staff.

we reconciled after i finally sought out the proper "english breakfast tea" and even had a cup myself, drinking it the proper way. after all, we needed some kind of conflict to practice what we learned in class.

apparently philly counts

2009-05-10T00:13:00.002-04:00

hong-soek's pakistani brother took us and his family on the grand city tour, late night version. we saw the big train station, downtown, university campuses, the historical buildings where they signed the declaration of independence, the ben franklin bridge, and... the liberty bell!

yes, i saw it all... in about 30 minutes. then we went to pick up ice cream.

back in time to spring's beginnings

2009-05-08T23:29:00.003-04:00

to calgary from virginia for the weekend. what a silly thing to do. yet given our knowledge of our situation and our options, the best we could do.

strangely enough, the brief visit transformed into a meaningful time with the help of my other canadian parents. special people to me and now to scott too.

fish creek park boasted trees showing off the first glimpses of what might be spring buds. birds' songs filled the air as if the temperature was already 15 degrees warmer. people out with their dogs jogged by with smiles and shorts.

from the bluffs, we watched the dark clouds roll in over the prairies until we realized they were headed in our direction. erv met us in the car on our run back through the first drops of rain just in time to rescue us and go eat saskatoon pie.

driving in manhattan is easier than in seoul

2009-05-07T22:05:00.000-04:00

i've now seen the empire state building. nine times. while driving around the block between 32nd and 34th repeatedly, looking for hong-soek's friend and waiting for him to finish at the bank. really, no place to park. but it was cool to see.

driving in manhattan doesn't even compare to seoul. taxi drivers are so patient in the "big apple" and everyone leaves so much space! even pedestrians don't walk nearly as close. yes, it was a bit of a let-down that manhattan driving was so simple.

hong-soek says our thirty minute trip doesn't count so i can't highlight it on our map. i guess we'll come back then.

it's really called quakertown

2009-05-06T21:19:00.000-04:00

when hong-soek talked about his indian mennonite host family in quakertown, i'd always assumed that was just the nickname of the place. nope, there it was on the map. quakertown. we tried to avoid the tolls on the way, but ended up on a road with red traffic lights at every block, adding at least an hour to the drive. scenic, though. worth it for the pennsylvania countryside. worth seeing "cheryl ave." even though we didn't stop to get a picture.

his host family welcomed us with big hearts, open arms, and plates full of naan and delicious curry. we shared wedding photos and chatted with the kids. the oldest daughter had become a young woman in the last four years and hong-soek said he felt old. i enjoyed listening to paul and hong-soek exchange i.v.e.p. stories. in the same neighbourhood, but a generation apart, neither new they would return to this area at all after their respective years with mcc, let alone sit together for breakfast in the same kitchen again.

the funny spirals of life which bring us back to the most unexpected places.

2009-05-05T21:43:00.000-04:00

we drove straight toward downtown and the capitol (with an 'o') following the directions of our friend's housemate. the capitol, the capitol, he said, in his detailed account of each turn so as not to have us lost in the big city all night. i didn't know exactly what he mant by 'capitol' but i knew it was some fancy d.c. thing and didn't want to look like a stupid foreigner so i didn't ask.

i knew what i saw it though. lit up at night like a ghostly space ship, the large dome loomed on top of the hill. it would have been impressive except for all the other towering, imposing, marble structures in the blocks surround, competing for the drawn eye in an almost comical night-light show. i caught a glimpse of the white house too between the trees on the way out in the morning.

while impressive and all, i noticed my aversion to such grand political structures, previously seen framed artistically one at a time. i had no idea all those big buildings were all on one street, but somehow it made me laugh. oh what we humans do to make ourselves look important.

the cute little capitol hill houses, though, really caught my interest. once stable houses for the guys who looked after important people's horses, the row of houses along the narrow back lanes have been transformed into cute little apartments. the wonderfully nice people we stayed with for the night live in one of these. i wonder what horses and horse-caretakers used to live here?

a whale of a sale

2009-05-04T22:58:00.005-04:00

twice a year the neighbourhood hosts the biggest yard sale festival in town. people swarm the streets, walking around lawns, eating beef-on-a-bun, lemonade, and cookies handmade by a seven-year-old looking for the best deals and hidden secrets from the garages of their neighbours.

we arrived promptly at 8am, but early-risers had already snatched up the good stuff. home owners work quickly to get their wares out by 7am but customers come in still earlier. nonetheless, we managed to snag a stylish $10 desk in great condition, and our dear landlords/host family went to get the truck to ship it home as we continued to wander and search through the picked over merchandise.

the community feel grew as we discovered proceeds for most of the sale went to good causes and favourite charities. the thought almost covered our amazement at the sheer amount of stuff. and more baby clothes than i've ever seen in my life.

we also got placemats and scott made a deal.

the local neighbourhood time machine allows for people who slept in to go back and get the pots and frying pans they missed out on. unfortunately it had just run out of plutonium before we got there. (yes, it's a real delorean!)

pastor seo's prayer at our wedding (in korean)

2009-05-02T16:28:00.001-04:00

special music from yeoul church on our wedding day

2009-05-02T16:22:00.003-04:00

hong-soek in the kitchen with a tea towel

2009-05-01T18:56:00.003-04:00

here's our kitchen. we use it a lot. i'm starting to realize how much we ate out in seoul. it was just so easy there, with restaurants actually cheaper than buying all the ingredients to make the food. not so in harrisonburg. we've been to two restaurants, both of them excellent, but neither of them sustainable for our budget.

we're exploring new creations and local foods. okay, we do have a jar of kimchi in the fridge from the korean pastor last night, but we'll savour that and it won't be our staple, i suppose.

when in harrisonburg, do as the harrisonburgers do, right? burgers... veggie burgers tomorrow?

a town of nice people

2009-04-29T20:00:00.003-04:00

i met more nice people today.

we walked into the counselling department building while looking for the intensive english program offices. the woman behind the counter looked up with a smile and "can i help you?" as we approached. i asked about the iep building and she got up from her desk, walked through the office and around to the hallway and out the front doors in the rain to point to the place directly. she asked us our names, shook our hands, and we parted.

a simple "to the right" would have sufficed. that was over-and-above nice-ness.

starting with graduation

2009-04-26T19:51:00.003-04:00

we went to the emu graduation ceremony today. mainly to see lauren's big day, but it strangely became a big day for us too. hundreds of people gathered in the sun on the lawn, listening to the inspiring words of the commencement speaker, challenging graduates to push the boundaries of their comfort zones and use their learning for the good of societies and people around the globe.

at the cjp celebration, watching the slideshow and interactions of the individuals from around the world who had become family, i felt a sense of sadness and anticipation. i know that i will form similar relationships and hope for the amazing transformation of which the graduates speak, in their own lives and communities. i also know that in two years, i will also leave this place. i have only begun, but i already know this special space is limited. this compels me to treat each moment as a gift, meant to spend in the best way i can.

filled with expectation, yet still uncertain of an unknown reality.

from the airport in l.a.

2009-04-23T21:09:00.001-04:00

i'm writing from the l.a. airport, waiting for boarding for the last leg of our long day to d.c. aleady we've had some culture shock, remembering that the rules cannot be bent here even if you ask nicely, but if you ask nicely you can get through the rules with less stress and perhaps some kind help along the way. also, it's called a "value meal" not a "set" and just go by the number.

the japanese woman on the plane from tokyo had some problems with sitting close. i felt bad getting up to go to the bathroom, but noticed she only got up once the whole flight. she seemed more agreeable after her nap, though, and i don't hold it against her. the kids crying in front and behind wouldn't help a foul mood. (although i didn't drop my mug cup on their heads on purpose… i don't how it hit both kids' heads in front!)

it's exciting to be in l.a. even if just for a couple of hours. i feel like i've been here before, but that was just something i saw on t.v. hong-soek has, though, which helps in navigating this crazy airport!

it's really good to go together. somehow the whole trip feels shorter and more manageable. maybe one day i'll miss traveling on my own, but for now, it's great to have a shoulder to sleep on, someone to watch my luggage when i'm in the bathroom, and a voice to tell me it'll all work out fine. right now, i have everything i need.

leaving korea again

2009-04-17T20:00:00.000-04:00

i feel like i went through this all last year so a smaller scale slipping out of the country works this time, right? with my major paper due on tuesday and our flight on wednesday, there's only so much i can do before we leave. but it's not leaving, and it never will be. we're just going away to study for a while. we'll be back in between, probably, and back and forth now and then. this is officially one of my homes so it will never really be leaving.

as usual, i'm anxious about things working out. transportation, customs, and such. something always works, though, even if not the way we planned. i know this, but somehow i forget most minutes of the day. i also forget that most things are not as important as i think they are. the important things surround me at each moment along the way so thoroughly that i can hardly recognize them. when i do recognize, i'm overthrown with thankfulness. and all will be well.

the fruitcake was great... pictures coming soon

2009-04-12T09:46:00.004-04:00

the fruitcake turned out wonderfully! we still have some in the freezer and insist on sharing it with anyone we meet. comments about the wedding day use words like "unique" and "meaningful" and "really different" and "interesting" but i'm taking all of those with positive connotations since everyone said them with smiles and enthusiasm.

it was a day full of joy and genuine smiles in each photo taken!

speaking of which, photos will be a little slow in coming (due to packing and getting ready to go to virginia on april 22!). here's one for the waiting:

getting married tomorrow...

2009-03-27T11:21:00.002-04:00

tomorrow's the big day. i'm not the least bit nervous. quite tired, i suppose. excited, really looking forward to seeing so many friends and loved ones in one spot... a little amazed that this all comes together just for us! humbled by that too...

must sleep some tonight.... tomorrow comes with sunshine and warm winds and some fruitcake for the evening!

two days

2009-03-25T11:03:00.003-04:00

two more days.... hmm. preparing a wedding is no small task. so many people help, yet so much left to do. need to get better at letting go... it will be what it will be. today had joyful moments, good things, like visas approved. hard moments like overwhelming details and future plans unknown, coming near. fun times like the gyro swing at the top when all i could see was the sky upside-down and nothing really mattered but we're together and will be. i'm looking forward to a sleeping in... after at least two more days.

the preparation begins

2009-03-18T11:12:00.004-04:00

now the true preparation begins. my family arrives tomorrow. this is the new experience. yes, they've all been in this country before, but this time it's different. i'm filled with anticipation, curiousity, and an eagerness to live it thoroughly into happy memories. i pray for good times, flexible minds, open eyes, wide hearts, calm thoughts, and warm encounters.

a new journey.

up and running again

2009-03-11T10:52:00.000-04:00

spring comes with sunshine and budding trees and kids playing outside. i went to the park yesterday to really re-start my running this time and only did one or two laps too many… still, the air and sky and trees and smell of cut grass made it all worthwhile.

stretching & cool-down complete, i sat on the swings and pumped until my vision encompassed both edges of the blue strip between the apartment buildings, the sun splashing carefree around the corners of the concrete.

the freedom of falling through the air, secure in the seat and rope of the swing in the midst of a mindfull of plans and details and figuring-outs, refreshes my spirit. i feel the familiar joy of life in a beautiful and remember my gratitude. creativity returns.

the power-walking woman on her third lap of the park looks at me disapprovingly. i think i'm going to make swinging part of my morning ritual.